Chronicles of the Blade is a Craab based movement devoted to Street Hockey and Motorball. This movement derives its name from the fact that both these sports are played on in-line skates or, as they are commonly known, "Roller Blades." Street Hockey is much like Ice Hockey except that it is played on asphalt or concrete, making it more accessible than its icy counterpart. The majority of our games are played in the parking lot of Emerson Elementary, found on the northeast corner of University and Westwood, in Mesa. Motorball is a sport of our own contriving, inspired by the sporting event, of the same name, found within the pages of Yukito Kishiro's post-apocalyptic cyberpunk saga Battle Angel Alita. It is a high contact race where teams fight for control of the Motorball while completing circuits around a track. The majority of our Motorball events are held on the Wheelchair Course located on the Mesa Community College campus, which is found on the southeast corner of Southern and Dobson, in Mesa.
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hockey of Thanks: 2009 - "For the first time since 1945 the World hangs in the balance!"

The year 2009 will be recorded in The Chronicles of the Blade as the year that CRAAB Hockey saved Democracy. It was also the first year we had a team to play against.

It was early Thanksgiving morning, November 26th, 2009 when I arrived at Emerson's Parking Lot. Team Der Hockey Frau's manager, "The Major", already had his players out on the court and warming up when I got there. Of course, I was the first CRAAB member there.

"It's post-8 AM and your team of Combat Rebels is suspiciously tardy. Perhaps zis is some kind of joke?"

"Only a joke on your punctuality, Toht. It'll be another 45 minutes before enough CRAABs show up to play."

"Well played, Herr Glass, but it will be the last time you have zee uppa hand."

. . . and for the most part, he was right.

The teams were:


Der Hockey Frau

VS

The Defenders of the Free World


The Fraus came out fast and strong, taking a precarious lead over the complacent CRAAB. "Hey, no body checking . . . at least not on purpose!"

By the second water break CRAAB was down by four goals . . . by the third, six.

The nonagenarian Fraus were handing out the seats of CRAAB pants with such an unrelenting efficiency that things were not looking good for us or the American Way of Life.

As the end of the game neared, it appeared that all was lost . . . but remember, that's when the miracles happen, just like the one that happened that bright Thanksgiving Morning.

Actually, it was a miracle in three parts.
1. Steve "took one for the team" when Major Toht called for a play known as The Face Melter, bringing CRAAB within three points behind the Fraus before losing consciousness.
2. At that moment Josh rolled over in bed, thought about Hockey, and then fell back asleep.
3. Right then the phone rang. It was the President of the United States and he wanted to speak to Caleb McKay.

In a rally of renewed determination CRAAB tied up the score with the Fraus.

"Next point wins"

Three taps on the ground, three on the stick, and the fury was unleashed. CRAAB and the Fraus exchanged control of the ball seventy six times in an unparalleled display of the velocity combat of stick and blade.

Suddenly the ball was knocked high and wide, and when it landed Wesley Burnham was the only one near it. As he lined up the shot, Wesley called on the spirits of of all the turkeys that lost their lives for Thanksgiving 2009 to guide his shot.

"Gestapo Spank!"
The Frau goal tender dropped into the splits reaching for the orange blur . . . "but not today" . . . the ball glanced off the edge of her glove and spun wild through the net-less goal.

"CRAAB WINS!!! CRAAB WINS!!!

LET FREEDOM RING!!!!"

As the Fraus packed up and departed, we all stood for the Pledge of Allegiance, and it was said in Mesa that day, that there wasn't a free dry eye within a 40 yard spread Emerson Parking Lot.

"That was some good Hockey."

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Blades of Thanks: 2008

This year there will be HOCKEY, on blessed Thanksgiving day.
To not show up, sadly enough, will be seen as a sign you're gay.

It's time again to gather with blades and friendship dear.

To send a cry out into the universe that CRAAB is indeed still here.

So put off the wuss, get out of bed, and finally regrow that spine.
At Emerson parking lot, this Thanksgiving morning, HOCKEY will start at nine.

That was the call that went out for the traditional CRAAB Thanksgiving morning Hockey game on November 27th 2008. However it rained the night before and due to puddles on Emerson, we had to move the game to The Beverly Building Parking Lot.

Players in attendance:
James











Zeke











Caleb











Meredith












Kohl











Boo












The teams were Boo, Caleb, Zeke versus
Team Beards and Meredith which consisted of Meredith, James and myself.


Attendance was surprisingly low for a Thanksgiving Game, but three on three is within optimal numbers (which run from three on three up to five on five), so the play was excellent. Because of the rain, the court was wet and tight turns were prohibitive. James went down quite a bit, but there were a lot less falls than I thought there would be.

Thursday, November 22, 2001

The Blades of Thanks: 2001

This Thursday the 22nd of November, is Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, tradition has it that we play Hockey. And so we will play Hockey this Thanksgiving at 7 am on the Emerson battlefield. Communists will sleep in. Please make your intentions to attend public. -The Chronicler
Despite the weak pre-game commitment, contrasted with the clangor of the local Card Carrying Deceased Communist faction, there was a fairly good turn out.
The Thanksgiving Roster ran like this:

Eddie "I'd Rather be a Saiyan Fishing" Jarman
Kohl "El Mecha Chupamacabre" Glass
Mike "Plik Smash!" Sakeveda
Brandon "Factor Zero" Burnham
David "Radio Disney" Jarman
Tim "Banished to the land of Ghosts and Wind" Boyle

The teams were Wrestlers versus Non-Wrestlers, which surprisingly a pretty even break of skill, with the Non-Wrestlers winning by a very small margin. Play was hard and good, starting the Thanksgiving festivities out right! God Bless Capitalism! -The Chronicler