Chronicles of the Blade is a Craab based movement devoted to Street Hockey and Motorball. This movement derives its name from the fact that both these sports are played on in-line skates or, as they are commonly known, "Roller Blades." Street Hockey is much like Ice Hockey except that it is played on asphalt or concrete, making it more accessible than its icy counterpart. The majority of our games are played in the parking lot of Emerson Elementary, found on the northeast corner of University and Westwood, in Mesa. Motorball is a sport of our own contriving, inspired by the sporting event, of the same name, found within the pages of Yukito Kishiro's post-apocalyptic cyberpunk saga Battle Angel Alita. It is a high contact race where teams fight for control of the Motorball while completing circuits around a track. The majority of our Motorball events are held on the Wheelchair Course located on the Mesa Community College campus, which is found on the southeast corner of Southern and Dobson, in Mesa.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hockey of Thanks: 2010 – Return of the Beta One Chrononaut


Kohl: No, no, no, Doc, we just got here, OK, Mike Sokiveta's here; we're gonna play some hockey.

Doc: Well, bring him along. This concerns him too.

Boo: Wait a minute, Doc. What are you talking about? What happens to us in the future? What, do we become <Explicative Deleted> or something?

Doc: No, no, no, no, no, Boo, both you and CRAAB turn out fine. It's the one you call Samurai Steve, aka The Ryth, aka Shyne, aka Prime. Something has got to be done about Steve Crandell!

In a flash the Doc had a newspaper clipping out from his radiation suit and under their noses.

Doc: I've traced the events that lead to the complete collapse of society back to THIS VERY GAME OF STREET HOCKEY!


Kohl: So what do we do, Doc?


Doc: It is absolutely imperative that you do not allow Steve to score a single goal today!


Everyone: Whaaaaaaaaaa?!!!


Boo: Uh, Doc? Steve has never once in all the seventeen years that we've played hockey NOT scored a goal.


Kohl: Yeah, he's consistently dominated the top spot on James McKay's list. YOU ASK THE IMPOSSIBLE!


Doc: I don't care how you do it. Just don't let him score!!! Life as we know it depends on it!


<FASHHH! FASHH! FAAAASHHHHHHHHHH!!!!>


. . . And he was gone.


Boo: What are we going to do?


Kohl: Well maybe Steve won't show up?


Steve: Hey, guys!


And thus the teams were drawn up and, tepidly, our heroes began what quickly became the oddest and most trying game of Hockey they ever encountered.






















Kohl: OK, I think I'm done.


Boo: Good Hockey everyone!


Steve: I don't know if you guys noticed, but . . . I didn't score.


Boo: What?!!!


Kohl: You didn't?!!!


Steve: Not once. That's never happened to me.


Kohl: Huh . . . Well, it happens to me all the time.


Boo: Not me.


Steve: Well, I'm taking off.


Boo: See you later, Steve!


Steve: Later.


Kohl: Wait for it . . .


<VOMIT EVERYWHERE>



GOOD HOCKEY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING, and a MERRY NON-ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, EVERYONE!