Years upon years, eons upon eons, times a million and you would still not be close to how long we have been bothered by Mesa's finest. The conflict is old and bitter. - Steve Crandell
(Taken from a post on 10/20/01)The Following is The Steve Crandell 5 Step Plan for making sure we are never kicked off the court again.
Step 1: make sure Josh is there the night the plan is to be set into motion.Step 2: Make Josh play with one of the really old stick that are in the back of my truck
Step 3: Add one officerStep 4: Wait until the Officer has said his spiel and is waiting for us to leave.
Step 5: Enter Josh: <in a nearly inaudible whisper> "When I was thirteen, <getting louder> I wanted to try swimming <face begins to redden> But they shut the pool down for resurfacing. <louder> When I was 15 I wanted to try basketball, <almost yelling> but the PTO shut the program down for that year because a kid broke his ankle the season before <face continues to darken and voice continues to rise>. When I was 16 I wanted to play paint pellets, but the legislature had passed a gun control law that shut down paint pellet fields for 6 months. <face is now nearly purple and jaw is rattling back and forth as entire cranium quivers with rage> ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY SOME SORT OF SPORT WITH MY FRIENDS!! <The Brunsdales windows are shaking> BUT YOU!! YOU HAVE NOW TAKEN THIS <Breaks hockey stick over knee (shows no pain)> EVEN THIS, MY MOST FAVORITE SPORT IN THE WHOLE WORLD AWAY FROM ME!!! <doubles up the broken pieces of the hockey stick and breaks them again (still no pain)>. CRIMINALS RUN RAMPANT IN THE STREETS, DRUGS FLOW LIKE WARM HONEY THROUGH OUR NEIGHBORHOODS, BUT RATHER THAN WORRYING ABOUT THAT, YOU <breaks all four 8 inch lengths of his hockey stick>, YOU!!! HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO STOP AND HARASS A GROUP OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS WHO WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO RELAX FOR ONE FRIGGIN NIGHT AND PLAY HOCKEY ON A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP ASPHALT HOCKEY COURT THAT ISN'T WORTH THE TIME THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT WORKERS PUT INTO MAKING IT. <throws the pieces of his stick into the air and lets an inhuman screech out into the night sky>. <voice returns to a whisper as Josh slowly advances on the officer> But you know what? You know what? <finger is held aloft, it too quivering> It was good enough for us. We didn't complain. We didn't complain at all that there is nowhere for us to play in this whole, corrupt, underfunded, hot city. Instead we made do. <now stops advancing on the officer and looks him up and down> We're going to leave now, but before we do, I want to ask you to do me one favor. The next time you find yourself approaching a vehicle full of gun-wielding gangsters, or having to storm a crack house, or do any of the hundreds of dangerous parts of your job, I want you to think about how much you would rather take all the would-be criminals in this city and give them a place to play games, play sports, or maybe just socialize. How you'd rather provide a hundred things for them to do so that you don't have to risk your neck again, because just a few of them chose athleticism over crime. And when you think how nice that would be, I want you to think about tonight when you kicked a bunch of honest kids off their court, and into the night. Think about that, and then wonder, every time you lock another kid up, if it was one of us. <Kneels down and removes skates, throws them into the sand. Turns and walks slowly away without a backward glance as the theme to Braveheart slowly begins to echo and reecho in the distance.>
